Saturday, February 20, 2010

The V-Card

Despite my voracious appetite for sex, I was a relatively late-comer to the game (no pun intended). It wasn't that I was waiting for "the one" - but it certainly wasn't going to be just anyone. I had fairly simple standards, being that I wanted to be in a relationship and completely sober when I lost my virginity. Sounds easy enough, but it was that criteria that kept me celibate through my teenage years.

"Relationship" is a very negotiable and flexible term as it turns out. Sobriety is not, and I stuck to my guns on that one, though there were many drunken snogs on the way to the bedroom. My relationship with That Boy I eventually lost my virginity to was very sweet at times, but very drunk at others. In fact most of our relationship was getting pissed, going home together, snogging a bit, falling asleep, then spending Sunday mornings in bed talking. The rest of the week we'd be bogged down with work and spend our days in class and our evenings in the library, but Saturday night to Sunday afternoon was ours. He was well aware that I was a virgin and was extremely patient with that. After four months of making out, being a weekend couple, and watching Love Actually, I decided that my virginity wasn't going to lose itself and so That Boy would be the one to take it.

The decision to lose my virginity while sober allowed me to enjoy it immensely more than many subsequent encounters I've had. Contrary to popular belief, losing your virginity isn't always unpleasant and painful for girls, and my first time is still up there with some of the best shags I've had. The decision not to establish what kind of relationship That Boy and I had beforehand was probably an oversight I should have considered, because he dumped me a week later. A bit harsh really. I think I was more angry that I had finally had sex, but now and no one to do it with more than anything. Anyhow, I did what most young girls do after a breakup, and threw myself in to alcohol and disordered eating. I should have put those efforts towards more shagging, but I've since learned the error of my way.

Although I still think of That Boy every time I watch Love Actually, and though general consensus is that he is a heartless bastard, I in no way regret my first time. I was sober, with someone I had been with for a couple months, and the sex was good. I've heard worse stories. MUCH worse. Go watch The Rules of Attraction - if that doesn't terrify you into staying sober and a virgin while at Uni, I don't know what will. The first scene of that movie was enough to hold my virginity in tact through my first years of residence halls and swaps.

I've since reconciled what happened with That Boy . . . and we've had a couple nights together since then. Those stories will have to wait for my Sex in Public and Sex in Hotels entries though. Until then . . .

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